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Dating / Domestic Violence

Dating violence is a form of domestic violence. Domestic Violence is a pattern of physical, emotional, verbal, and sexual abuse, which includes, but is not limited to, threats, intimidation, isolation, and/or financial control. Domestic Violence is an intentional pattern of behavior that is used by one person as a means to harm and take power and control over another person in the context of a dating, family, roommate or caretaker relationship.

Domestic Violence is maintained by societal and cultural attitudes, institutions, and laws that often do not identify this type of violence as wrong. Domestic violence knows no boundaries in terms of socioeconomic status, religion, race, ethnicity, ability, age, sexual orientation, immigration status or gender. Domestic violence between intimate partners occurs at the same rate in both heterosexual and same-sex couples. While domestic violence occurs in all communities and the pattern of abusive behavior is often universal, it is important to note that abusive tactics, barriers to services, subjective experience of abuse, criminal justice response, and level of family and community support can vary based on socioeconomic status, religion, race, ethnicity, ability, age, sexual orientation, immigration status or gender.
http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/dv.htm

Are you in a relationship with an abusive partner?  Here are some good questions to ask yourself:
  • Do you feel nervous or fearful in your relationship?
  • Are you afraid of your partner's temper?
  • Do you have to be careful to control your behavior to avoid his/her anger? Do you feel like you are always “walking on eggshells”?
  • Are you afraid to say “No” to sex?
  • Do you feel powerless in your relationship?
  • Are you scared of disagreeing with him/her?
  • Are you afraid to break up with your partner?
  • Does s/he criticize you, or humiliate you in front of other people?
  • Does s/he check up on you or question you about what you do without him/her?
  • Does s/he act controlling?
  • Does s/he repeatedly and wrongly accuse you of seeing other guys/women?
  • Does s/he tell you that if you changed s/he wouldn't abuse you?
  • Does s/he act jealous of the time you spend with other people?
  • Does s/he make you feel like you are wrong, stupid, crazy, or inadequate?
  • Does s/he call you names?
  • Does s/he ignore your feelings?
  • Has s/he ridiculed your most valued beliefs, your religion, race, class or sexual preference?
  • Has s/he ever scared you with violence or threatening behavior?
  • Does s/he tell you what to wear, or how to do your hair?
  • Does s/he prevent you from going out or doing things you want to do?
  • Do you feel that, with him/her, nothing you do is ever good enough?
  • Does s/he say that s/he will kill or hurt themselves if you break up with him/her?
  • Does s/he make excuses for his/her abusive behavior by saying it's because of alcohol or drugs or because s/he can't control his/her temper, or that s/he was 'just joking'?
  • Does s/he hate spending time with your family and keep you from seeing your friends and family?
  • Does s/he withhold approval, appreciation or affection as punishment?
  • Has s/he manipulated you with lies?
  • Has s/he taken your car keys or money away?
  • Has s/he subjected you to reckless driving?

If you answered Yes to one or more of these questions then you may be in an abusive relationship. We encourage you to visit our resources page and check out the rest of the information on this website. http://www.uic.edu/depts/owa/quiz.html

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