I attended an abortion rally in D.C. I figured, what better place to pick up women. And you know they're fucking. It's not like you're going to meet a bunch of virgins at an abortion rally.

The abortion issue is all screwed up. You've got a Supreme Court mostly of men voting on abortion. But it's a women's issue.

We should have separate Supreme Courts: one for men, one for women. It's bad enough that a bunch of men get to vote on abortion. I wouldn't want a bunch of women voting on what I could do with my balls.

"The Supreme Court today ruled that two balls are too many."

Women should have the right to make the choice.

But what's the choice? It costs $5,000 to have a child and only $400 for an abortion. What kind of choice is that? Clearly, budget determines your choice.

Roe vs. Wade really means broke vs. paid.

So you look over your bills and make your choice.

"Are we gonna have Timmy or cable? I gotta catch the Tyson fight."

The crazy thing now is that abortion clinics advertise. It's so weird how they do it. They never say abortion, they say, "We terminate pregnancies." They say it as if they're giving the fetus a pink slip: "Hey, kid, you're fired."

But now that abortion clinics are advertising, you know what's next. Abortion sales on holidays. Come on down to the Lincoln's Birthday Abortion Sale. You know, Lincoln was born on February 12, but he didn't have to be!
 

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Rock, Chris. (1997) "The Clinton Legacy"? Rock This. NY:  Hyperion, 160-162.

Nineteen ninety-six was a big election year. We got Clinton back. Clinton II.

It's not because the people necessarily liked Clinton. They just didn't want Dole to win. Even the people who wanted Clinton to lose didn't want Dole to win.

Dole's too old.

Dole was old to old people. Look at his hand-it's all fucked up. He can't save anybody. You saw Independence Day: the president's got to get in there and fly a spaceship. Dole can't do that.

Dole lost big-time. He got his ass whipped. No matter what Clinton did, Dole couldn't fuck with him. Clinton could have shown up with a little black kid.

"This is my daughter, Makumbe." Dole still would have lost.

At the end Dole was even trying to give away money.

DOLE:  I'm going to cut taxes fifteen percent.

THE PEOPLE: No thanks, just lower'em at your house.

DOLE: But I'm giving away money.

THE PEOPLE:  No, that's okay. Thanks, anyway.

I like Clinton. I don't think he's going to do anything for black people, but I don't think he'll go out of his way to fuck with us. That won't be his priority.

I also like Clinton because he really needs the job. He needs the money. Why? Clinton's got real problems. He doesn't have president problems. He's got real problems just like you and me:

It's almost as if we have a black president.

Leave him alone. He's president. Let him do what he wants to do. So what if he has people staying at his house? It's his house. The White House is his shit. He could paint it green, let the grass die, put in some cheap-ass wood paneling. It's his house. If I could get some money for letting people stay at my house, I damn sure would. I know if I stay at my mother's house I have to at least pay the phone bill.

Remember the time he got a haircut for $300? Everybody got all mad. "How dare he get a haircut for three hundred dollars?" I'm not mad -- but I do want to meet the man who had the nerve to charge the president for a haircut. Who the fuck do you think you are?

If I was the president I wouldn't pay for shit. Ask me for $300 and I'll blow up your house.